Confessions of a (not-so-perfect) Suburban Mom

Just recently I rekindled a friendship with a gal I’ve known since junior high. We have had some major ups and downs during our friendship. This last down lasted almost four years. My husband is weary of us being friends again. He is one who can easily write out people, I am not.

My father died last year, my mother moved away, and my closest friend moved too. I’ve lost my support system, which has been devastating with the new baby. I find myself reaching out to those from my past to find stability. What is it that makes us search out the past in order to feel secure in the future?

My only conclusion is we all want to feel supported by those closest to us. This rekindled friendship is a way to feel connected again with me. Who knows how it will all end, but there is no harm it finding out.

I was very good this last pregnancy and only gained the 35 pounds allotted to me. My husband gained the same amount. Now that things are getting into a rhythm around the house, my husband and I decided to lose weight together. We bought an exercise program that didn’t require us buying more products to do. We are going to change our diets for the better and include the children in better eating habits. We are so excited to get moving on this.

I will post little updates along with my other postings about my progress. It should be interesting….

Earth Day is coming and everyone seems to be thinking green. Only recently have I become more aware of what I could do to be more green. Not because I have this overwhelming desire to save the planet. I have to admit I have more selfish reasons. Being green can save me some green. When my husband and I first moved into our current house our coach lights kept going out. Our theory was that the vibration of the garage door was breaking the filament in the light bulbs. I was so frustrated that I went out and bought those expensive florescent light bulbs. The ones that are suppose to last something like 7 years. Well, it has been three years and they are still turning on. It has made me a believer. We went from replacing the bulbs every three months to nothing for the last three years!  What have you done skeptically and turned into a green believer?

    Here he is…..  our sweet Pudge (because he is so big!). I wanted to take the time and thank all of you who sent me well wishes after the birth of my son! He is amazing and I am so glad that I was able to share the experience with all my Mom’s Zone moms!

Thanks again for all your support and kind words.

Frances

I’m not one to make resolutions, not because I’m better than them, but because I don’t need the additional pressure in my life.

It seems like I’m one of the few who doesn’t participate in this barbaric tradition. Even my husband is planning on going on a diet and losing some of the baby weight that he has put on in the last nine months. In fact, losing weight is one of the most popular resolutions people make each year.
 
I guess I try to approach each year as a way to improve on the last year. Considering how tough last year was I think this year can only get better, starting with the birth of my third child.
 
The question still remains, do these resolutions matter? I guess it is another “it depends on who’s making it”. I worry that I would set myself up for failure. It is one thing to look at your life and see the need for change; it’s a completely different story making that change. Life is sometimes easier just to keep things the way the are.
 
I have one huge benefit for change, a baby. No matter how much I will try to keep my life the same, a baby takes a different take on that. Babies just scream for change.
 
The advice or insight I would leave for you would be to look at every day to change the things that you wish to change and to accept the things you can’t. Life will go on whether or not you lose those 20 extra pounds.

So it’s that time of year again. Time to climb into dark spaces and pull out dusty boxes of Christmas…oops, I mean “Holiday” decorations. Time to hit the over crowded shopping malls and look for that perfect gift that you just can’t find. Time to work on your political correctness and remember not to offend anybody. Time to deal with all those very unhappy sales people who hate their jobs and are not afraid to show it. Time for all those toy commercials and hearing the kids say they will just die if they don’t get that. Lastly, it is time to feel obligated to get presents for people you don’t really want to buy for.

I know what you are thinking, “Doesn’t she know the real meaning? Isn’t she being a bit harsh?’

I’m going through this whine only to get it off my chest. Some times I am just so frustrated with what the holidays have become. I miss the holidays of my youth, when it all seemed easier. But now that I have grown-up I’ve realized I am the one behind the curtain making it all seem wonderful for my kids. Not that I don’t enjoy seeing their happy faces, it’s just that at times it can be so underwhelming.

How do I get out of this funk, one step at a time? For one thing I’m not going to let my husband get away with just sitting back this year. I am going to have him help me get the tree up, hang the wreaths and best yet, have him wrap some gifts. I’ve got most of my shopping done and even grabbed a few extras for any of those I’ve forgotten. I am sticking to family and a budget for those gifts. I’m giving myself mommy time-outs to remind myself of ways this time of year is so special.

There is an underground rumor that now that I am a suburban mom and over thirty it is time to cut my luscious locks and go soccer mom sassy.

I’m not sure who started this trend or why women are quick to chop the locks. I heard one woman tell me it was because long hair looks like a woman is trying to hard to look young. Who knew that looking too young was a bad thing?

I guess I have an attachment to my long hair because I never had long hair as a child. I was always getting either head lice or sap from climbing trees or even doing a few homemade hair cuts, keeping my hair very short. Now that I’m adult I’ve been wearing my hair long for years. The closest I came to cutting it short was after a painful break up way back when.

I don’t know what it is, but when life gets tuff a lot of us reach for the scissors for a little change to mix it up. Even today I toy with the idea of cutting my hair. I love my long hair, but hate the up keep. Knowing me I won’t be cutting it anytime soon, but I will keep thinking about it.

What have you done to mix it up?

I am nearing my ninth month of pregnancy and I believe the baby has stolen my brain. It seems to have gotten worse through the pregnancy. I walk in rooms not knowing why I’m there. I pull out of the driveway only to realize that I’ve forgotten my purse and have to pull back in. I get halfway down the street and a fear over comes me thinking I forgot to close the garage door. I drive back and sure enough the garage is closed. My biggest pet peeve is when my husband will ask me to do three things and I always forget the last thing.

I talked to my doctor and he told me it was due to a lot of different things, the number one thing being my lack of sleep. I think it is terribly cruel that I can’t sleep right before the baby is born and then can’t sleep after the baby is born. Good thing I’ll get some sleep when my kids move out in 18 to 20 more years.

Tell me your pregnancy brain issues……

When my husband and I decided that it would be best for our family if I stayed home I had no idea how much work it would be.

I went from working 40-50 hours a week to just being home with my half-day kindergartener. We would play, have lunch together, and walk to school. She was only in school for a few hours and I thought that would be plenty of time to do everything I needed to do. But I found that I was running out of time and rushing to pick up the kids from school. It almost seemed pointless to start anything.

The following year both my girls were in full-time school and I thought I would be bored so I got a part-time job, got involved in the PTSO, joined my local Moms’ Club, and helped out at school every chance I got. I got so busy that my house became a disaster and my husband thought I was MIA.

Finally, I wised up and relaxed on the PTSO, cut back on my Moms’ Club events, and re-focused on my part-time job. Then I got pregnant!

Now I am nesting and my part-time job turned into a co-business adventure. It’s not that I can’t say no, but I just believe I can do it all. I just need a little time management. O.K., a lot of time management!

I just want to remind you and the husbands out there, that being at home is not the golden ticket to kicking back. If anything it is the most demanding, time consuming, and thankless job I have ever had! But I would not trade it for the world. My kids love the time I am with them and I love the ability to be there for my family.

Why do mom’s need confession? Even if we try to be the perfect mom and wife, things don’t always go as planned. Here is a list of how things aren’t so perfect, but, well…enjoyed!

10. Aren’t Tater Tots listed in the food pyramid?

9. I knew about the PTO meeting, but chose to be busy that night.

8. Do you enjoy telemarketers for their adult conversation?

7. My house is clean, but I’m on my last clean pair of undies.

6. Shaving legs are for special occasions.

5. Does you husband wonder what you do all day, when he’s eating a hot meal, with clean clothes, a made bed, clean house, happy kids, and bills paid?

4. Is your favorite place to go the grocery store with no kids?

3. Have you caught yourself singing the SpongeBob Square Pants theme song, when the T.V. is off?

2. I am now allergic to high heels.

1. Because some days it’s not a perfect day in the neighborhood!